Music Blog

Adam-Scott Green
Jeanine Perez
March 15, 2009
WST 3015

Violence goes 'round and 'round

There has got to be a nonviolent way for women to regain confidence, agency, and pride after suffering the pain of a man cheating on her. However, Carrie Underwood’s song, "Before He Cheats" paints a violent solution to dealing with “man problems.” She perpetuates the system of violence and abuse. Specifically, she is both a victim of his emotional abuse, cheating, (which I consider violence) and an attacker. The song glorifies violence. Under a guise of spiteful revenge, she injures his car, carves her name in the upholstery, damages the headlights, and deflates the tires. This is a form of economic and physical violence. I even think it’s illegal. According to the United Nations definition, “Violence inhibits human growth, negates inherent potential, limits productive living and causes death” (Kirk 258). The evidence is the demonstrable damage which could limit his productive living. Now he has to pay for car repairs. The thing about it is that emotions can never be priced. Her actions were not called for; they were irresponsible, childish, and illegal.
Also, I think it is important to note the overall tone of the song. Carrie brilliantly sings this song with emotions that echo rage, spite, anger, and force. At the moment of damaging his property, she reduces her emotional abuse to a psycho-enraged criminal persona. It’s amazing to note how much power this ex-lover has over her civility. Indeed, she is disempowered of any will of her own; every criminal decision in this song is a response to how he treated her. She allows her boyfriend’s cheating, this lousy man, and the system of patriarchy, where women are dominated by men, to send her on a violent spree. In the same way I feel that this song is damaging to the feminist movement. It perpetuates a masculine notion that women’s actions are secondary or controlled by a man. Definitely, this man has the ultimate power over her emotions and sense of self. It just rings with the oppressive motif: men control women’s behavior.
As the song implies, she wants him to think before the next time he cheats. I wonder if she will think after the next time a man mistreats her. Violence and implicating misery is not an avenue to rebuilding self-worth, dignity and respect. A more viable solution would be to reclaim a sense of self. Like Morales and any other victim of abuse, Carrie represents a woman who falls into the trap of victimhood. Morales explains the implications of victimhood: “The people who abused me consciously and deliberately manipulated me in an attempt to break down my sense of integrity so they could make me an accomplice to my own torture and that of others” (Morales 283). Obviously Carrie was hurt by what this man did to her; she became a victim in every sense of the word. Morales further states that “victimhood allows us to stay small and wounded instead of spacious, powerful and whole.” I think a better solution for Carrie would be to leave victimhood behind and re-create her dignity, agency, and power as a positive, law abiding citizen. However, she continues the cycle of violence, moving from victim to attacker, instead of breaking that dichotomy altogether.

Kirk, Gwyn, and Margo Okazawa-Rey. "Violence Against Women." Women's Lives Multicultural Perspectives. 5th ed. New York: McGraw-Hill, 2010. 258-58. Print.
Morales, Aurora. “Radical Pleasure(1998) Sex and the End of Victimhood.” Women's Lives Multicultural Perspectives. 5th ed. New York: McGraw-Hill, 2010. 283-84. Print.